Note to Ebay Shoppers

If you are an Ebay shopper, then this note might be helpful when leaving feedback for sellers.  I have been selling on Ebay for about 3 years now and do it as a hobby.  There are however, folks who sell on Ebay for a living.  They rely on their sales to generate a significant income.

As an Ebay buyer, there are many things to consider before making a purchase.  The cost of the item, the feedback percentage, the number of negative feedbacks in a given period and what the negative feedbacks were for. 

For a seller it's very important to maintain a good rating.  As a seller, I pride myself in offering good customer service as well as being fair to the buyer.  I have a policy stated in all my auctions regarding my shipping policy and it's the buyers responsibility to read the policy of each seller as it varys from seller to seller.   My policy is that I will ship the item within 3 business days after receiving a cleared payment from buyer.  Saturday and Sunday are not business days therefore, if I receive a payment on a Thursday or Friday, I have until Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week to ship and still be within my policy.  I usually try to ship the following day and in some cases the same day as the payment is received, however, I have other obligations that may not allow instant shipping.

Once I ship a package, it is out of my hands as to the time frame of delivery.  My auctions state the shipping method as well as the estimated delivery, per the United States Postal Service.  I am amazed at how many times I receive a message from a buyer 3 days after payment has been made wanting to know where their package is.  Sometimes the buyers will state that they paid 4 days ago and still have not received their package.  I usually respond in kind as to the date of sale, date of payment, my shipping policy, the date shipped, tracking # and the USPS estimated delivery date.  The buyer responds with a kind thank you and sometimes they apologize for being impatient.  There are many times that I receive good feedback on all items except shipping time.  Buyers please don't penalize the seller for the USPS slow shipping time.  If you want your item in a timely manner, kindly communicate that to the seller and they can arrange for a faster shipping method.  You of course would need to pay the higher price for faster shipping. 

This leads me to my next item.  Shipping & handling fees are included in each and every auction.  As a seller, there are many costs involved in selling online.  There are packaging materials, time involved, gas that is used to run the business etc.  These costs are included in the handling fee.  The shipping costs are based on the United States Postal Service and United Parcel Service fees.  As a seller, I don't charge a huge handling fee.  In fact, my handling fee is usually less than a dollar.  Ebay charges it's sellers a fee to list an item and a fee to sell an item.  The fee for selling an item is a percentage of what the item sold for as well as the shipping cost.  For example if I sell an item for $9.00 and the shipping on that item is $8.00, I pay a fee on $17.00.  This is to ensure that buyers are not being overcharged shipping costs. Paypal also charges a fee  to use their service and that fee is also a percentage of the selling and shipping cost.  I can tell you that after Ebay and Paypal get their fees from sellers, the profit shrinks.  The higher the item plus shipping the higher the fees.  I know that I try to keep my shipping as low as possible so avoid high fees.  The amount I receive from a buyer for shipping is almost exact as to what I pay at the post office.  In fact, the amount is printed on a receipt that is attached to a label on the box.  Anyone who receives a package in the mail can clearly see what the postage cost was.  If a buyer pays me $10.50 to ship an item they bought from me, the amount I pay to ship is normally within five to fifty cents of that amount.  Again, it seems that buyers are upset about the high shipping fees so they give the seller a low rating. 

When someone buys something online, they know the cost before they pay for the item.  If they feel the shipping is too high then they shouldn't purchase the item.  Why blame the seller for shipping costs that are out of their control?  Low ratings hurt sellers because they lower their feedback percentage which in turn makes buyers leery of buying from them.  I hope that people who buy online will think about the feedback they leave.  Be realistic and fair. 

My Trip to L.A.

This week I took a trip to Los Angeles to buy some material for my display tables.  My cousin went with me since he hasn’t been to L.A. in a long time.  My 10 year old son also went with me.   I parked the car and we made our way to the fabric stores.  I made sure my son stayed close by since there are lots of people roaming the streets there.  As we walked from store to store, we came across many down and out people who were asking for money. 
After about an hour, we decided to stop and grab a bite to eat in a little shop on 9th Street between Maple and Wall.  We sat outside since the weather was pretty nice.  As we began to eat, we were approached by several people wanting money.  One guy in particular, in a wheelchair, wheeled himself right up to our table and just stared at us as we ate.  My son wasn’t sure what to make of this and as the owner came out the door the man in the wheelchair hurried away, which led me to believe he does this daily.  Another while passed and another very young man approached us to ask us for money.  Before we could answer, the owner again came out and told the man he’d have to leave.  The young man stood there looking puzzled for a minute and then broke out in a very loud laugh.  My son’s eyes widened by this time and I could tell he was a little frightened.  He is used to seeing homeless every day as we live two blocks from the homeless shelter but he has never seen such bold and strange behavior.  There were many other scenes that day that concerned him like people walking and arguing with themselves, making hand gestures to no one in particular, etc.
I decided to talk to him about the importance of being compassionate about all people.  I told him that while we would love to hand money to everyone, we need to understand that it’s impossible to do.  We do occasionally give spare change to people who need it but many times, instead of handing over money, we offer a meal or drink.  That way we know the money will not go to feed an addiction.
I explained that many people find humor in others who have lost their way or are down and out.  Some even enjoy inflicting physical pain to them.  I told him that while we don’t know or understand what road led to their downward spiral, that we should remember that they are human beings and are someones mother, father, brother, sister, child.  Sometimes lack of education, drug or alcohol abuse, or other issues are the reason.  I told him that some of these people aren’t lucky enough to have family in their lives, others have made the choice to distance themselves from their family.  Some may have had a traumatic experience lead them to where they are and others simply have a mental illness.  Whatever the reason, we should never judge or make fun of these people. 
I hope that I was able to teach my son something positive today and I hope I taught him that we all have a story underneath our cover.

I'm Not Crazy....Really!

I don't consider myself old and I certainly don't think I'm crazy although my kids would beg to differ. I do think that when you become a parent, you gain so much. All of a sudden you are more responsible, (well some parents anyway) you gain more patience, more weight, but you also lose a certain amount of brain cells. This I know because you become more forgetful about things and something just happens to moms.

When I say forgetful, let me clarify that this is what my kids want me to think. For instance, before children, my mind was as sharp as a tack. I could recall places, times, and even the smallest details about things that happened years before. All of a sudden, I become a parent to teenagers and I apparently can't remember what I said just hours before. It seems that we have these conversations about things and then a couple hours later or even days later, when I question my kids, they say "Mom, we talked about that already!" or "Mom, you said I could do this or that!" I tell my kids I never said that and they tell me I said it in the car or while I was rushing out the door, or on the phone with someone etc. Now I know what I say most of the time even when I'm saying things that don't make sense (and I'll get to that in a moment) but they insist that I gave them permission to do something or go somewhere. I think that teenagers are very smart and the pick the right time for them to ask which happens to be the wrong time for parents. They know that we are not fully in attention mode so if they sneak a conversation in, we'll simply agree just to show we're hearing them without fully listening. I've told my kids I'm gonna start recording our conversations so I can play it back for them. I don't know why that would make them mad.

Now to my other topic...Saying things that don't make sense. I do this all the time. I know the minute the words come out of my mouth they're wrong but they just come out that way. For instance, I'll tell my kids to put the dishes in the dryer instead of dishwasher or I'll tell them to put the milk back in the restroom instead of refrigerator. I notice that I do that a lot with words that have the same sounding beginning or start with the same letter.

Sometimes I'm thinking of something else while I'm talking and a word will come out about what I'm thinking which has nothing to do with the conversation. For instance, I will think about needing to go grocery shopping while getting ready to take the kids to school and I'll tell them to get their list instead of their backpack. My kids look at me like I'm a crazy lady but I'm really not. I think moms and some dads have so many things that we have to juggle that our mind is always on things that need to be done instead of the present moment.

My kids and my husband laugh when we go somewhere and I say something out of left field. Like the day we were coming home from camping and I saw a guy riding a really nice bike. I made the comment that was a nice "hot dog" instead of "Harley."

A Little Courtesy On The Road Please

I get up every morning to take Alyssa to school.  This year, she had the brilliant idea to take zero period so she could have some free time and be done with her classes at 1pm before softball practice.  This means that her ride, me, gets to get up at 5:30 every morning to be ready to go by 6:20. 

Now, I thought that at this hour most of the city would still be sleeping, well at least most of the high school population anyway.  Who knew that so many kids would be taking zero period? 

Before I even reach the high school, the traffic starts lining up.  Kids anxious to get to school on time, parent anxious to dump, oops I mean drop their kids of and be on their merry way to work or wherever else they need to go.   Me, I'm ready to leave the house early enough to get my daughter there ahead of schedule but with all the primping and running around she does, we don't leave when we're supposed to.  So there I am driving cool as a cucumber and she's fidgeting in her seats anxious and hoping she's not late. 

Once I drop her off, I head out to leave the parking lot and this is where my frustration starts.  There's a line of cars in the front of the school that have already made the drop off who are trying to get back onto the street.  Then, there's the line of cars in the street who are trying to get to the front of the school to make the drop off.  I enter from the street to the side of the school so I avoid all the pre-drop off traffic but I need to leave through the front of the school where all the traffic is.  The process seems simple to me,  one car in, one car through, one car in, one car through.  But, that's not how it works unfortunately.  People are so not courteous like that.  No one in the line from the front of the school wants to let those coming from the side in and no one in the street wants to let those coming out of the school in.  Traffic backs up because there is no where to go and everyone just sits there getting frustrated.  When there is a gap between cars, everyone tries to squeeze through and it creates a bigger mess.  It cracks me up how the people who won't let others in, see you but pretend they don't.  You can see them looking at your car from the corner of their eye.  Hello?  I know you see me!

If everyone just learned a little bit of patience things would go much smoother and we'd all get on our merry little way a little faster.   Please be courteous when driving.  The one car you let through will not affect your travel time that much and you might even feel good about doing a nice deed.  Be careful though it could become contagious.

I Love My Daughters...Really!

Oh the trials and triblualtions of sisters.  You took my shirt, those are my shorts, that's my brush, etc., etc.  I can't for the life of me figure out why, two people who share a room, and have lived together their whole lives can't figure how to live in peace.  Don't get me wrong, they love each other but I don't think they want the other person to know how they really feel.  I know they love each other because they worry about each other.  When something happens to the other, they stop everything to be with the other person but I guess they think the other person won't notice.

Amber was gone on a camping trip this week-end.  We have all be on edge and stressed out because of Amber's seizures.  While Amber was gone, we checked in with her to make sure all was good.  Today she came back and within 1/2 hour, they were picking, picking, picking at each other.  Amber walked in and started turning out lights.  Great, she's saving electricity but that's not how Alyssa sees it...She just comes in and starts being bossy.

Alyssa asks Amber for her phone charger.  Amber hasn't seen it.  Alyssa swears that Amber is hiding it from her.  Back and forth and back and forth.  Ugh!  I love having my family together and find it comical that they do this.  But, don't let something happen to either one of them and the other is right there. 

They each come to me to pit me against the other but I won't have it.  I wonder if there will ever come a day when they will look at each other as friends instead of enemies.  Somehow this doesn't seem like the sisters I saw on TV.  Have sisters changed that much over the years or did televison portray them in a perfect little way.  No matter,,,,I love them anyway!

Life Renewed

Have you ever sat and thought about the cycle of life?  Have you stopped to give gratitude for the body and organs you have?  I think more of us should.

Most of us are born, we go through childhood then adolescence and finally adulthood.  We don't spend much time in the present. As children, we want to be older.  As adolecence, we go through periods of confusion about what's happening.  We struggle with not being a child but look eagerly and impatiently toward being an adult.  Then when we become adults, we know that life will never be the same.  The responsibilities and choices we make can impact our life forever.

We take for granted our health and the funtions our organs have.  When illness hits, we begin to wonder what we could have done different and struggle to change the way we live our life.  Maybe all the wrong foods we ate, or the wild lifestyle we lived may affect our health.  Sometimes it could be genetic and was passed down from generation to generation.  Whatever the reason, we should stop every day and thank God for our health.

I've thought about that a lot lately.  Robert's cousin Ruby is only in her mid 50's and has been in Florida waiting for a liver.  She's been struggling with her health for a good while and was diagnosed with liver failure.  With her deteriorating health, the doctors enrolled her in a program to be on the list for a liver transplant.  She was flown to Florida earlier this year and has been waiting ever since.  She has had many health scares.  Many prayers have been said for her and her family.  Last week, we got a message that stated she wasn't doing so good.  She was admitted into the hospital.  Over the next couple of days, her spirits were up and she was feeling better.  Now it was time to just wait some more.

Now, I have thought about why it takes so long for a liver.  Not to sound harsh, but people pass away every day.  Surely there should have been a liver available a long time ago.  But then I realized that first, not everyone is a donor.  Without a donated liver, the pool is smaller.  Second, not every donated liver is a match.  There are tests to be run to see if the donated liver is a match and then the tests are made to see whether the liver is healthy.  So many pieces to this puzzle, but everything has to fit.

Well, after the long wait, we were notified last night that a liver match was made.  The tests were being done to see if the liver was a healthy match.  Ruby was being admitted into the hospital and being prepped for surgery just in case it was.   This morning at 6:35am, her brother called us to tell us that Ruby was going into surgery.  Everything matched and was healthy for the transplant.  Now the waiting.  According to her brother, it is a 10-12 hour surgery.  Wow! 

We immediately prayed for Ruby, the team of Dr.'s and her family.  Then it ocurred to me that this liver meant that someone lost their life.  A family is grieving somewhere for a loved one.  I prayed for this family.  I prayed that they would find strength and peace during this loss and I prayed that somehow they would find a bit of hope knowing that the gift from the donor would give life back to someone special.

I know that I have never thought about being a donor before but when I think of one of my children or family members needing an organ, I want them to have every opportunity there is.  Because of this experience, I will become an organ donor.